We’re you lucky enough to be raised by more then one woman?
I know I was lucky in that respect because I was raised by several Aunts and in honor of Mother’s Day and especially since her birthday is just around the corner, I am missing my Aunt Brenda today.
Brenda passed away this last December and the loss is still felt by everyone who knew and loved her, especially my mom and my cousin Ronda. I have said many times when mom was 2 years old, GOD gave her a birthday present, a doll baby of her very own. Those 2 girls were the last of 11 children so they had to stick together to survive their older siblings. Because of their close relationship, my cousin, my sister, and I belonged to both of them.
I was especially close to my Aunt Brenda. I wanted to grow up and be just like her. I mean, she had style. When I first moved to Atlanta after leaving the military she had just recently moved to this area and I had won some concert tickets to see David Allen Coe at Cowboys, a bar in Kennesaw GA. She met up with me once I got off from work and I was surprised to see what she was wearing. This lady was the original honky took hottie and she was wearing a pair of rhinestone clad jeans with a low cut blouse and some heels I’d never seen before. It was a flashback to the The 70s, but this was the mid 90s and the grunge look was popular then so you can imagine the looks she got when we walked in that smoky ole country western bar. I mean the fact that she could be wearing a pair of jeans from her closet that long ago from her past was awesome. I can’t wear anything I owned from last summer let alone 25 years ago.
My husband has tales of his mothers 2 younger sisters and how they loved and played with him when he was a tot. His father was in the Army during Vietnam so Chad spent the first few years of his life raised by women. If you know my husband then this explains a lot. One of the favorite tales I’ve heard was he would ride the school bus with his Aunts when he was just about 4 years old and they along with their friends would feed him sour candies just to see the faces he would make. Apparently it was quite the event during the long dusty route to school.
As parents, you see your children with rose colored glasses but our other mothers who love us just as much, see us more clearly. My sister and I spent many summers and holidays with different family members and each of our Aunts affected our lives. We love every one of them who showered us with love, took us on many adventures, and taught us different lessons in life. Sometimes it takes another woman to teach you a lesson that you were resistant to learn from your mom.
An example of a life lived differently, experiences that your mom never had but you could still learn from, someone who sees a spark of similarity in you and wants you to achieve all that they had dreamed of for themselves. This is where your true depth of character originates from if you’ve been lucky to have these other mothers in your life. They don’t have to be family either. My best friends’ kids call me Aunt Steffi and I try my best to be there to shape their lives as well as my biological nieces and nephews.
I truly miss my Aunt Brenda because of our close relationship. Her presence in my life was profound. All you have to do is look around my home and you’ll see her everywhere. Whether it’s in my furniture she gave me through the years, paintings hanging on my walls, her collectibles displayed on my tables to the jewelry pieces she left me that I proudly wear. Between all the experiences I had with her to all her opinions on my life and the decisions I was making, I know I’m the woman I am today because of her.
So today, Mother’s day, think of the many other moms who have been a part of your life and thank them too. You know the lessons they’ve taught you as well as the influences they had on your life. Who knows where your life journey would have taken you if not for their love, because I just don’t know.
This past year has been a struggle for most of us and the month of December was especially hard for me. My Aunt Brenda passed away on the 1st. I had always been close to her because she was like a second mother to me. She was my mom’s baby sister and the loss of her will be very hard to get over if at all.
The very next day I started feeling bad as did other family and friends….yep….we had the virus. So December started immediately with the worst news I could get. Now my husband, my mom and myself are all quarantined in my home.
Don’t worry, this isn’t meant to be a sad story but an encouraging one.
We took care of each other and noted which symptoms we each had everyday. As expected, some days were worse than others. I missed doing the things I loved to do simply because I was too sick, so very tired and we were stuck at home. Reflecting back, I realize now that I had wasted so much of my time in the past on things that don’t matter, and the main one was……….LOSING WEIGHT!
I would start each day stepping on the scales and thinking about food. What will I eat for breakfast? What will I pack up for work? Will I be able to limit my choices today? I hate wearing these ugly fat clothes! Why did you eat that junk food yesterday? It was an internal battle I fought with myself everyday! Losing weight is HARD! It’s a vicious cycle of lost and found.
This last month, after burying a loved one and praying that everyone else I knew would survive this virus. I never thought about my weight once. I wanted my life back and all the blessings that I had taken for granted.
Trust me, I know all the health benefits of getting this weight off. I’ve been on this roller coaster for many years but I have decided……LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT MY PURPOSE IN LIFE!
I am now waking up each morning with plans to do the things I love. I started this blog last year and I have so many stories I want to write. I have a side skincare business and I love helping others find confidence in themselves again. I have a new puppy that I look forward to training, I bought one of those agility courses for dogs and I can’t wait to set it up in the backyard. I will love on my old dog Lucy more because her time here is limited . I will even try to find the joy in my job again. I will never like the commute or hours but watching and assisting flight students take their first solo flight, accomplishing their dream of learning to fly is inspiring. And most importantly, I’m gonna hug my husband harder and more often.
The saying is “Hindsight is 2020” and I’ve learned a lot about me this last year. My plan is to fill myself and the year 2021 with new experiences, finding joy, improving myself, positive thinking, great memories and not food. Will I be happier? Yes I will. Will I lose weight? I guess I’ll have to wait and see because I just don’t know.
I know you’ve heard the phrase ” The Power Of Positive Thinking” and I’m also sure you’re wondering what does pond scum have in common with that phrase. Simply…it’s me.
I have been on a personal journey of self improvement and overall just trying to find myself again these last few years. After the loss of my best friend Tami, I completely lost sight of my life and I simply lived day to day without much enjoyment. A couple of years ago I made the decision to wake up and go after all that life had to offer. One of those examples is reading self-help books. Books to help with weight loss, ones for being your own boss, some about traveling, others about getting your financial life organized. In searching for another book to read I came across the title ”The Power Of Positive Thinking”.
I thought..why not? I understand the basics of it, but I decided to read more and get a deeper understanding of this philosophy. I’m sure I don’t have to go into a detailed explanation to y’all. Simply…if you think it, then it becomes real. I highly recommend you read the book yourselves. Once I was done reading this book, I decided to give it an honest effort and see if it helps me. I mean, what could I lose?
I’ve had scoliosis my whole life and as I’ve gotten older, it’s progressively gotten worse. These days all I have to do is standup too fast, or sleep in the wrong position and I’m in pain. One episode happened while I was bending over to pick up an ice cube off the floor. It pinched my sciatica so bad I couldn’t work for 2 weeks. I have good days and bad days, but during this particular time I was having pain in my right hip and it was causing me to limp around. This is where my power of positive thinking experiment started.
The book suggests that every night before you go to sleep to think about all the positive changes you want in your life. I simply wanted to not be in pain everyday, so I told myself that I wanted my back to feel better, get stronger and hopefully get myself some better sleep.
I KNOW! I KNOW! You’re thinking….girl was asking for some kind of miracle on her first try!
I woke up the next day determined to do better. I did feel more empowered and I wasn’t gonna let the excuses and negative thoughts keep me from taking better care of myself. I knew I needed to make some changes for my health and walking everyday was one of those routines I was gonna implement to reach my goal. I kept positivity in my thoughts and day by day I mentally felt better but my hip was still hurting so much I ended each day in tears. Every night I told myself my back and hip was gonna stop hurting.
A few weeks later on a Saturday afternoon, I’m out walking on my property with my dog Boone. I walk and throw tennis balls, Boone runs and chases them. Boone doesn’t bring the balls back, he simply drops them and waits for me to throw another. As I’m walking and throwing, Boone is running and chasing. I walk up to the creek that winds across the front of our property. It’s very shallow and usually dry but the recent rains had filled it up slightly and the grass was still dewy. Floating in the slimy residue of stagnant water were several of Boone’s tennis balls. I cautiously step on the bank and bend over to pick them up and in one quick moment my feet went straight up, my flip flops are airborne and my butt slams into the embankment and I go sliding down, plunging right into the green, slimy, stinky pond scum of pure grossness!
I screamed out words and expletives that caused the birds to stop chirping. I was completely freaked out about sitting in this green slime and I was also covered in it. I couldn’t think about the pain just yet. I tried to remain calm and figure out how I was gonna get up and out of this sludge without falling down again. Boone was barking and whining for me to throw those tennis balls without any concern for my well being. It was so slippery and slimy and OMG, I just felt something move under my butt! Did I just squish a frog who had taken up residence in this lil pond? All I could think to do was roll over in this cesspool and get on all fours and crawl out carefully up the embankment. Meanwhile, Boone is still pacing and waiting for me to throw those 3 tennis balls right beside my slime covered flip flop that’s at least 3 feet across the creek. How did it get way over there? I’m so thankful my husband wasn’t home to see his bride of 20 years crawl out of the creek all slimy and green, bellowing out like a Lochness monster.
As soon as I reached the garage, I took off my yoga pants and tank top and dropped them right there. I’m completely naked as I wobble into the house heading straight for my shower. I didn’t even wait for the water to get warm, which really didn’t matter to me because I was having hot flashes now. I couldn’t scrub myself hard enough. Slime was in my hair, I could feel the amoebas crawling on my skin and the stink of it was nauseating. I kept waiting for another little frog to jump out at me too. I might be a little overly dramatic here but folks…I’m an indoor girl. All I wanted to do at this moment was get clean. I still hadn’t allowed myself to think about the pain I was gonna feel. I’ve had several falls in the past and they can be jarring. I wasn’t looking forward to how awful I knew I’d feel the next day.
Chad came home while I was getting dressed and I told him what happened. He was concerned that I had gotten hurt but I also knew he was laughing inside. I’m sure he got the visual. I told him I felt a little sore but not too bad considering how hard I fell. He noticed I wasn’t limping anymore and that’s when I took a full mental assessment and realized…my hip isn’t hurting anymore. My back and hip actually felt better. I went to bed that night saying the same mantra I’d been saying every night for weeks. I woke up the next day feeling absolutely fabulous and thats when I realized…..the power of positive thinking had worked.. The universe in all its glory had given me an adjustment.
Simple but true. I felt great!
No, my scoliosis hasn’t been miraculously healed, but the hip pain was a new development and since all the covid shutdowns, I was unable to get to my chiropractic as often. I continue to think positively and still believe this whole scenario was the result. I’ve also experienced many other blessings too. I’ll have to save those for another story. Every day I feel better and find joy in living again.
So, I hope this story has inspired you to think positively and live life with a grateful heart. The world is so crazy right now and if you can just keep happiness in your daily lives then it makes everyday better. But I do warn you, when you put your dreams and positive affirmations out there, be careful of where your answers may come from. You might end up in a creek lined with pond scum or wherever the powers that be choose. I’m still doing my nightly prayers and staying positive but I’ll admit, I’m on guard to where my next answers will manifest because I just don’t know!
Even after all these years, Mother’s Day is still a sad day for me.
My mom is still with me today and I’m thankful, especially since so many of my friends mother’s have passed away. My mom taught me so many lessons in life, all the same as many of you may have experienced, but the one that benefited me the most was… my mom taught me strength. No matter how hard life gets, you just keep going.
I never realized how much strength I would need when I became a stepmom. I thought I knew but I was wrong. The boys had just turned 5 and 3 years old when I married their father. Those boys were a hurricane. They were typical high energy kids but add in all the uncertainty they were experiencing because of their parents divorce. It was a slow start building a relationship between me and the boys. Chad had custody but he never kept them from their mom, he knew how much they loved her. I never really had a chance.
I tried to do everything right. We ate dinners together around the kitchen table. We took day trips and family vacations. I attended school functions as often as I could. When they were sick I took them to the DR. When they played sports, I would cheer loudly on the sidelines. I bought them clothes and the brand of sneakers they wanted. I helped with homework and class projects. When their dad traveled because of work, I took care of all their needs. I was being the mom I always dreamed of becoming but I never saw or felt the love they gave to their mom.
I wanted a baby of my own and we did try for years. I wanted to have a child who would run to me as fast as those boys ran to their mom. I wanted a kid who would look to see if I just saw his great play on the field. I wanted to be the mom who was needed to help them feel better when they were sick. I didn’t want to have to ask if I could get a hug goodnight. I wanted to be proudly introduced to their teachers, not having to explain who I was. I would even liked to have experienced a regular ole temper tantrum in public instead of getting screamed at with ”YOU’RE NOT MY MOM”. I know those boys didn’t act this way on purpose. They never knew how all these little things hurt me. It’s just a natural bond between a mother and child that I couldn’t compete with and I wanted that for myself. Every month that dream died in the bathroom with a flush.
So yes, Mother’s Day is always hard for me. My boys are grown now and I know they love me but this special day is between them and her. I will get a call or maybe a quick visit, boys naturally aren’t the most sentimental, and then we’ll all go about our days as normal. Everyone is quick to say ”those boys love you”, ”you raised them and they know it”, “you’re as much a mom as she was” but its just not the same. There’s a void that I can’t explain, maybe it’s just me and my selfishness in wanting more.
I hope one day when those boys are raising their own kids, when they’re dealing with all the ups and downs, the hardships and sacrifices, they realize the love I had for them. I hope they learned strength from me like I did from my mom. The strength that’s needed to be a parent. The strength to love when love isn’t given back. The strength to simply stay.
The experiences I had with my boys are truly special to me and I love them very much. All I can do now is wait to see how they raise their kids. I hope some of the traditions and special memories I’ve created with them will be carried over to the next generation. I’m gonna give my mom a big hug this Mother’s Day and thank her for teaching me strength. I still need it because I still wonder every time I see a mother and a child, will I ever over get this heartbreak of infertility, Because I just don’t know.
Since celebrating my 51st birthday just a few months ago, I am officially over the hill and rolling down it rapidly. I can only wonder where the time all went? I mean seriously, time does go by faster with each year.
Last night one of my young friends was on my mind. She just turned 30 and all I could think about is all the possibilities that are still in front of her. You youngin’s out there feel like 30 is old, but I promise you, it’s not.
When you’re a kid and throughout your teenage years, your world is mostly about your parents and their influences. Some of us are lucky when it comes to our upbringing and others not so much. We all have different experiences. Once you get into your 20s, most of those paths you take are decided by you. Some of you finished college, some of you went to war. Some may have gotten married and maybe divorced too. Some of you may already have kids of your own. Lots of options available in that time of your life. The world truly was what you made it.
When you hit 30 though, life starts to really sink in and you’re having to deal with the outcome of those decisions. This is not a bad thing. There will be many aspects of your life that you’re proud of. The chances you took, the love you felt and overcoming obstacles that may have been in your way. The wrong paths also teach you lessons and hopefully you’ve learned to not walk down those again. This my young friends is when your true depth of character starts to manifest in you.
You will look around at your loved ones with a grateful heart. You believe that you deserve happiness and you’re willing to work for it. You’ve accepted your flaws and are finally just comfortable with who you are. You will seek out new challenges and accomplish many great things. You will become leaders in your community and develop deeper friendships than you can ever imagine. You will still make mistakes and experience loss too but, in your 30s life really can get so much better as you grow into the person you are meant to be.
So don’t think that turning 30 is the beginning of the end. It can be the best times of your life. The world is waiting for you to enjoy everything it has to offer. So go live it!!
Now if anyone has any advice about what to expect as I continue to roll down the hill past 50…because I just don’t know!
I know technically the Holiday season isn’t over yet, but just like Thanksgiving weekend, I’ll be working during all the New Year’s festivities. Can you believe a whole new decade is upon us? This last month, let alone this last year has been a whirlwind for me. So many changes in my life as well as personal losses. I had all my Christmas decorations out before Thanksgiving because of my work schedule and I always love seeing my whole house decorated. It’s a lot of work but for my family to have a place to celebrate the Holidays, it’s worth it.
Our Christmas Eve with the In-laws was canceled because all the little nieces and nephews were sick. Chad and I opted to go to the movies with our boy Chase and niece Alana. Like us, they weren’t sick and I was already dressed with makeup on, so why not have some fun. We saw Jumangi and it was hilarious. The movie provided the much needed stress relief that the Holidays can sometimes bring.
Christmas morning started with our son Chase coming over for breakfast. When our boys were younger, we had them early on Christmas and then they would go with their mom and and celebrate with her family for the rest of the day. This has become our tradition. Colton wasn’t able to make it this year but we were able to talk with him for a bit. Over the years, with my boys, our breakfast menu has changed. It started with sausage balls, which was my memory of my family’s traditional breakfast. On occasion it was sausage biscuits and gravy, or pancakes. But now my boy has gone Vegan … yep! While I can understand and respect his decision for a healthier eating habit, I’ve had a hard time coming up with recipes that I can make for him . I mean half the ingredients I’ve never heard of, let alone be able to find at my local lil country Piggly Wiggly grocery store. I did do some experimenting with a classic, pancakes, and they were alright. I will need to perfect them before next year.
Once the vegan, I mean Chase, left the real work began. I was hosting my family and was expecting about 20 for lunch and I had a whole spread of foods planned. All the traditional holiday fare. Not a bit of it was vegan or caloric restricted. LOL. I needed to rearrange the house to set up extra tables then move the dog beds and cat condos to the back rooms. As always its a lot of work. Because the weather was gonna be nice, Chad started a big bonfire in the back yard. It was a true country Christmas day. I received lots of messages via Facebook and texts throughout the day and I tried to answer them all but if I didn’t, I apologize.
We had a blast. Lots of love and laughter was seen and heard that day. After all the feasting was done and gifts were exchanged, I took a moment to sit down and relax out by the bonfire. I know the Holidays can be stressful. Some of us even dread it because of all the work it requires but when you sit back and look around at all your family and friends, it’s completely worth it. I mean…think about it this way. Without the Holiday season every year, would you really be able to take the time to see all your loved ones? I know we all want to see and be a part of their daily lives but a year goes by so quickly now and changes do happen. Personally I’m thankful to have, at least, this one time a year to be around the people I truly love and to be reminded about what life really means. Without these loved ones, what would my life be about? Because I just don’t know.
I recently read an article titled “If a friendship can last 7 years then it’ll last a lifetime.” Well…. let me tell you about a friendship that has lasted for decades.
It’s a group of ladies who’ve known each other since childhood. It all started with 2 of us who met in 3rd grade, then most of us were added in junior high, and a few joined us during our high school days. By our senior year we were a confirmed group of girls who were solid in each other’s lives. No 2 of us were alike but we still formed an unbreakable bond that life has never broken.
Now I’m not saying we didn’t have arguments or that we always agreed on everything. Just deciding back then our plans for a Saturday night was always a battle, we were all stubborn in our own way. We always had a good time no matter where or what we were doing, and even during difficult times we had each other’s backs. Only within our group were we able to disagree or not like each other for a time. But if anyone outside our group upset any one of us, then watch out!
This last couple of days at my house, a few of us got together for a much needed girl’s weekend. Immediately upon seeing each other we were back to laughing and talking as if we were those same girls of yesterday. It was just so nice to see them and I felt young again, but there were a few differences from our days together in the past. Instead of getting all dolled up to go out for the evening, we stayed in and watched movies in our comfy clothes and talked about our current life situations. Instead of sharing clothes, makeup and other possessions, we were passing around our reading glasses just to see the remote control. Instead of deciding on a type of pizza to eat, we were telling each other about what foods that didn’t ‘agree’ with us anymore. Instead of giggling about boys, we complained about our husbands who don’t pick up after themselves. Instead of dancing and singing to our favorite songs, we were moaning and groaning about how much our bodies hurt each time we had to get up out of our comfortable chairs. Instead of getting upset about how our parents won’t let us do anything, we now appreciate the advice they tried to give us and we also understand the looks of worry they had for our generation.
They say you can’t make new old friends. These ladies and I have experienced all the true ‘firsts’ in life together. We have been together during all our good times and the bad times. We’ve celebrated our graduations, the marriages, the birth of our children, and our the promotions in our careers. We’ve cried together over that first heartbreak and over the divorces, infertility and having to start over again in our careers. And even too early in this life we had to come together to say goodbye to the first of us who left this world too suddenly. No matter what, when or where, we can always count on all of us to simply just be there for each other. There’s nothing that gives me a greater peace than knowing that.
In your lifetime you will make lots of different friends along the way. Some will grow to be just as close and some may be the ones who drift in and out of your life. All are important as to who you will become. Those relationships will help to define who you will become. God may choose your family but you get to choose your friends.
My life has taken many turns on this journey and if I hadn’t known just 1 of these beautiful women, I truly believe I wouldn’t have survived it all. They’ve each had a positive effect on me and I look forward to the shared experiences of our continued lives together. I love them all unconditionally and always will. We will continue to be strong together and take whatever life has left for us, whatever that may be, because I just don’t know.
It’s another hot day here and I’m enjoying the shade with my old dog Lucy while sitting under the pergola. It’s noisy out here but not from what you’d imagine. There’s a light wind rustling in the trees as it teases with the hope of a cooling breeze. The birds are whistling, the crickets are singing and of course there’s an assortment of flying bugs buzzing around too. As with most true southerners there’s the rattle of a trusty old box fan running on the back porch, and in front of that fan is where you’ll find Lucy most days.
The entertainment today is being provided by my other dog Boone, who is currently dance fighting around with a yellow jacket. Boone is a German Shorthair Pointer and he’s 5 years old. If you’ve ever been lucky enough to know a GSP then you know how great they are. The GSP is a breed that has a great personality and they love their family, a true velcro dog. But with most sporting breeds, they are very active, and require LOTS of daily exercise and interaction. GSP’s are more known as bird hunting dogs but also possess a very strong small prey drive. My poor kitties have never had a chance. Lola, my calico, has learned not to run away and just stands there looking at Boone as if to say ”whatever!” Waylon, my black and white tomcat, still darts away immediately. It’s funny to see Boone go into a full point whenever Waylon walks into the room. As you can imagine, any and all small critters get their fair share of attention from Boone around here. Right now it’s a yellow jacket buzzing around Boone and he’s just keeps snapping back. I did see Boone get stung once before by a yellow jacket and I had tried to warn him away then, but he wouldn’t listen. I knew the second it happened because he jumped 4 feet straight up in the air. He never seems to learn but I remember a day a couple of years ago that another critter wondered onto our property. The whole family learned a lesson that day.
It was the very first cool morning of the approaching springtime. I was awake much too early but I decided to get on up and enjoy the new day. I opened all the doors and windows to let the house air out the staleness of the season past. I quickly fed all my dogs, Boone, Lucy and Shelby, then started Chad’s morning coffee. I sat outside on the front porch while the doggies took care of their business and I simply enjoyed the quiet. Chad and I have a house on 20 acres. We have neighbors but they are not in sight, so I wasn’t worried about being seen sitting out front in my nightgown, fuzzy slippers and my hair still in its raging bed head mess. I had cleaned the house all day yesterday and all my errands had been completed. I was excited about being able to enjoy this beautiful day that was dawning.
After a bit. I went back inside and started watching the morning news. Usually the dogs will follow me back in, but today I hear them barking and some commotion starting up near front creek area. I do a quick cat check to make sure they aren’t being harassed, but all the kitties were accounted for. I ignore the dogs and get comfortable in my recliner. Most mornings there’s an old hoot owl that loves to stir up the dogs and I wasn’t overly concerned. Not much longer the barking does intensify, and I trek back outside to see if I can tell what’s going on. It’s too dark to see much of anything although I can see Lucy and Shelby darting in and out of the woods, but I can’t see Boone. Whatever was out there it’s obvious how Boone was barking, that he was on it. He actually sounded so happy. The chase was on. Again, I wasn’t concerned because I’ve seen Boone chase lots of little critters and he hadn’t caught a one yet. My crash course in country living would be starting in only a few more minutes.. I yell ”shutup, y’all are getting on my nerves!!” I giggle at the hilarity of what I must look like while yelling at my dogs this early morning but again, there’s no neighbors close by to hear or see me.
No sooner than I turn around to come back inside, Boone comes running in at full speed past me and in that instant I smell it…..The nauseating, pungent, acrid stench of a skunk. By the way Boone was acting he had suffered a direct hit. He was rolling and sliding himself across the carpet, also rubbing his face up against any of the furniture close by. He was whining and barking as the stench of death was following him through out the house. I scream at the top of my lungs ”CHAD!!!!!!!” as I’m trying to get Boone back outside. All the doors were still open and I’d get him out one door and he’d come in another. Whether it was the grass outside or carpet inside he was still frantically rubbing against them to get the residue off. I’m still screaming ”Chad……Boone got skunked” when Chad comes running up the hallway with an uncertain panic in his eyes and his boxers still twisted around his body from quickly jumping out of our bed. Within those few steps Chad gets the first whiff and falls to his knees gagging. ”Get him outside” he yells while trying to hold his breath. I keep repeating ”Boone got skunked, Boone got skunked, oh my god, Boone got skunked”. I keep trying to get him outside, shut all the windows and doors because now the fog of the recent attack is rolling in. During this calamity of the past few minutes the other dogs, Lucy and Shelby, were running around and jumping in excitement. I can swear they were laughing at Boone.
We finally get Boone outside and all the windows and doors are shut. Chad and I just look at each other in disbelief. Chad’s still gagging in his boxers and I’m trying to find one of my slippers I lost during the mayhem. Now the cleanup needs to begin and we don’t know where to start. This was our first experience of a skunk attack. Welcome to the country life. Chad grabs the iPad and starts researching while I start grabbing the linens that were covering the furniture and throw them in the washer. I look in the pantry and find 2 cans of tomato sauce. That’s what I remember hearing the old folks say helps washes the skunk off a dog. I grab towels and wash clothes and start preparing the guest bathroom for skunk removal.
Boone actually lets me take him without hesitation to the bathtub and I can see where he was hit. He must have been standing directly over the skunk because right below his neck is the oily stain and it was thick and still oozing. Boone and I were both in tears. Chad yells from the living room couch ”They say not to use tomato sauce on a dog with white fur because it’ll turn his hair pink.” I yell back ”I don’t care what color he is from now on, it’s all we got”. ”Do we have any vinegar?” he asks. ”Nope” I answer while still scrubbing the oily mess. Chad is doing the research while I’m washing all the dogs. Lucy and Shelby stopped laughing and tried to run away when they realized they were getting bathes too.
I emerge after the doggie bath fest. I’m exhausted, my back is screaming from pain, and I’m still so nauseous and can barely breathe in and out. My nose and throat were burning from the fumes. Chad then proceeds to tell me everything I’ve done wrong so far according to the internet. ”Don’t wash the affected animals indoors cause all the residue will stick and linger on your bathtubs and in the pipes and don’t wash your clothes or any linens in your washing machine cause it’ll make anything you wash afterwards stink too”. I just stand there with a look of complete and utter dismay. ”Really,…. you read that huh?”. He also tells me ” vinegar is the best way to neutralize the scent of skunk. They recommend putting bowls full of vinegar through your house to eliminate the skunk smell”. I remind him that we don’t have any at all. I guess I’m going to the grocery store now.
Chad goes and gets ready for work, lucky him, and I’m putting on my old jeans, a t-shirt and my trusty RF hat and head out to the local Piggly Wiggly. For you non-southerners out there, that’s an old grocery store chain that still exists in the Deep South. The store had only just opened for the day as I walked up to the checkout lane with my cart full of gallon jugs of vinegar, lots of multi-pack disposable plastic bowls and start unloading. The 2 grey haired cash register ladies who were opening up for the day look at me with a questioning glance. All I say is ”Skunk”. They both start laughing and then proceed to regal me with all the skunk encounter stories from their past. People always tell you after any kind of crazy life experience that ”one day you’ll laugh about this”. According to the way these ladies were laughing away at the memories of days gone past, it’s a true statement but right now….I’m not feeling it.
Once I arrive home I can tell the smell has evaporated outside so I open the doors and windows again to let the trapped fog of death roll back out. It’s starting to warm up quickly so I put the AC and all the ceiling fans on full blast. I place bowls of vinegar all over the house. I rewash the clothes with lots of vinegar with hopes of getting my washing machine clean too. I also spray vinegar on all the carpeting, curtains and furniture with a refillable spray bottle I just purchased. I am effectively pickling my whole house.
Chad has already left for work, the still damp dogs are all asleep and I’m so jealous. All I want to do now is get something to eat then go back to sleep myself but I’m still so nauseous and all I can smell is skunk, vinegar, wet dog and let’s not forget the multiple plugins I just refilled with the essential oils of springtime freshness.
Isn’t that how this day started? Opening up my home to air out the staleness of winter and welcome the smell of springtime. I believe Boone and I did learn a lesson that day. Whenever Waylon, my black and white kitty, walks in the room where Boone is hanging out, I can see it in Boone’s eyes…the questioning glance. Is that the kitty I can chase or not? Boone does leave him alone more and Waylon couldn’t be happier with his new sense of freedom around the house. I learned not to ignore my doggies when something is obviously up and that Chad can do some major research during any crisis.
Chad talked me into moving out to the country. ”The peace and quiet will be so relaxing” he said. ”Just think of all that open space with lots of privacy” he said. ”The dogs will love having all that acreage to run around” he said. ”It’ll be fun” he said. When it comes to country living and especially with this dog Boone, I can only guess how entertaining each day will be because I just don’t know.
Do you ever just find yourself so unable to do anything? Just filled with the feeling of blah. It’s almost as if your experiencing an emotional rainy day.
As I’ve gotten older and the world has gotten crazier I find myself looking forward to a rainy day, especially if I don’t have anything planned or scheduled to work that day.
I mean it’s as if I need to slow down and do nothing. Sometimes I can’t tell if it’s a normal feeling or if I need to have my hormones checked. I am at that middle aged mark and hormonal balance is a tricky thing to maintain.
With my job as an Air traffic controller, weather has a direct impact on how my day will be. When it’s beautiful out, I will be super busy and the planes do fly. When it’s a rainy overcast day it slows down tremendously. A few years ago, the springtime weather had been perfect for flying and after several weeks of heavy air traffic I laughed and told my co- worker ” we sure could use a rain day”. We were mentally exhausted and just needed a break. I do wonder sometimes if all these years of working this job with its ups and downs have conditioned me to mentally slow down when the weather turns bad. I’ve also been trained as a weather observer and my husband tells me I’m the only person he knows who walks outside whenever a storm is approaching. As if I can’t let it pass by without a good look see.
So here I sit at home and it’s raining outside. I’m doing nothing and unable to motivate myself to do anything else. I do have plenty to keep me busy, there’s always something to be cleaned or an errand to run. I also have my home based business I could be working on but all I can do is just sit under my pergola listening to the rain and I’m honestly enjoying the down time.
If you find yourself feeling blah and your life has made so many demands on you, don’t be afraid to take advantage on the next rainy day that comes along. You need to acknowledge the mental and physical exhaustion that can overwhelm us all. Once you let yourself relax and listen to the music of the rain as it falls from the clouds and listen to the winds as they whisper or even roar through the trees and leaves, you may find your inner peace again.
I know we all have personal struggles and sometimes we get caught up in the storms of life but do be careful not to let yourself stay out in the rain too long. We need the healing rays of sunshine too.
As with weather forecasting, who can truly predict the many changes in our daily lives because I just don’t know.
Everyone agrees…raising kids is tough. It may start off all happy and sweet. Planning for when you’re ready to conceive, making the happy announcements, and of course these days it’s all about the gender reveal. But for me it was a whole different journey.
The gift of my 2 boys were given to me by marriage. On my wedding day, almost 20 years ago, I said I do to 3 guys. There were people who knew Chad and his boys and they were genuinely nervous for me. They would ask ” Has she met Chase?”. Chad would laugh and say “She says she’s not scared of a 3 and 5 year old”.
Chad and I did try for a child of our own those early days because we wanted all our kids to be close in age and grow up together. Life had other plans for me. The first night we were all in our home together as a family I did not sleep one wink. Right down the hall were 2 little boys and my mind whirled with so many questions. Where are the nearest fire exit’s? Did we lock the doors? Are they cold or too hot? Are they sleeping ok? What am I gonna do for breakfast? What are they gonna wear tomorrow? Yep, I was a nervous wreck. I instantly had 2 little people who were going to depend on me and I’d worry if I was going to be good enough for them?
After those first few weeks together I started to realize I should be worried for me and Chad because those boys were a handful. We got bad notes from the teachers daily. The constant fighting with each other. The ongoing battle of homework and bath time. And what is it with boys and peeing? They just point and shoot everywhere but at the toilet? We would go to bed every night and hold each other close and be terrified about what the next day would bring. Thankfully my military training kicked in and I became the Drill Sargeant in the house. There were times they hated me because I always caught them when they were doing wrong or catch them in a lie. Chase yelled at me one day “How’d you do that?” I told him “I had mommie powers”. “You’re not my mommie” he’d rage. He loved to remind me of that daily. “When I married your dad, God gave me mommies powers because he knew I’d need them”. I’d say in a sarcastic snicker.
As with any kids of divorce, these boys were unhinged. I immediately became friends with their mother because I believed we would all be better parents if we worked together. It was always funny when Rhonda and I would go to school functions together. We were the 2 mommies and most of the time the teachers didn’t know how to act around us. I was determined to bring some stability into these boys lives. They were mine now too and I knew I was more stubborn then they were and I was going nowhere.
There are so many stories of laughter and tears with these boys and I wouldn’t give them up for anything. They’re mine. They gave me grey hairs and stretch marks by just raising them. I told them repeatedly “One day you’ll appreciate me, because you’ll have kids like yourselves and realize I didn’t have to stay…but I did”. They’re both grown and gone now and the house sure is quiet. I’m so proud of both of them and we’re close today. They now know they’re just as lucky as I am that we became a family
I believe now these boys and I were meant to be in each other’s lives. I will always have the void of not having a child of my own. It still hurts today but I do wonder what it would have been like having a kid just like me added to the mix because I just don’t know.
Because I just don’t know 