Hindsight is 2020

This past year has been a struggle for most of us and the month of December was especially hard for me. My Aunt Brenda passed away on the 1st. I had always been close to her because she was like a second mother to me. She was my mom’s baby sister and the loss of her will be very hard to get over if at all.

The very next day I started feeling bad as did other family and friends….yep….we had the virus. So December started immediately with the worst news I could get. Now my husband, my mom and myself are all quarantined in my home.

Don’t worry, this isn’t meant to be a sad story but an encouraging one.

We took care of each other and noted which symptoms we each had everyday. As expected, some days were worse than others. I missed doing the things I loved to do simply because I was too sick, so very tired and we were stuck at home. Reflecting back, I realize now that I had wasted so much of my time in the past on things that don’t matter, and the main one was……….LOSING WEIGHT!

I would start each day stepping on the scales and thinking about food. What will I eat for breakfast? What will I pack up for work? Will I be able to limit my choices today? I hate wearing these ugly fat clothes! Why did you eat that junk food yesterday? It was an internal battle I fought with myself everyday! Losing weight is HARD! It’s a vicious cycle of lost and found.

This last month, after burying a loved one and praying that everyone else I knew would survive this virus. I never thought about my weight once. I wanted my life back and all the blessings that I had taken for granted.

Trust me, I know all the health benefits of getting this weight off. I’ve been on this roller coaster for many years but I have decided……LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT MY PURPOSE IN LIFE!

I am now waking up each morning with plans to do the things I love. I started this blog last year and I have so many stories I want to write. I have a side skincare business and I love helping others find confidence in themselves again. I have a new puppy that I look forward to training, I bought one of those agility courses for dogs and I can’t wait to set it up in the backyard. I will love on my old dog Lucy more because her time here is limited . I will even try to find the joy in my job again. I will never like the commute or hours but watching and assisting flight students take their first solo flight, accomplishing their dream of learning to fly is inspiring. And most importantly, I’m gonna hug my husband harder and more often.

The saying is “Hindsight is 2020” and I’ve learned a lot about me this last year. My plan is to fill myself and the year 2021 with new experiences, finding joy, improving myself, positive thinking, great memories and not food. Will I be happier? Yes I will. Will I lose weight? I guess I’ll have to wait and see because I just don’t know.