My other mother

We’re you lucky enough to be raised by more then one woman?

I know I was lucky in that respect because I was raised by several Aunts and in honor of Mother’s Day and especially since her birthday is just around the corner, I am missing my Aunt Brenda today.

Brenda passed away this last December and the loss is still felt by everyone who knew and loved her, especially my mom and my cousin Ronda. I have said many times when mom was 2 years old, GOD gave her a birthday present, a doll baby of her very own. Those 2 girls were the last of 11 children so they had to stick together to survive their older siblings. Because of their close relationship, my cousin, my sister, and I belonged to both of them.

I was especially close to my Aunt Brenda. I wanted to grow up and be just like her. I mean, she had style. When I first moved to Atlanta after leaving the military she had just recently moved to this area and I had won some concert tickets to see David Allen Coe at Cowboys, a bar in Kennesaw GA. She met up with me once I got off from work and I was surprised to see what she was wearing. This lady was the original honky took hottie and she was wearing a pair of rhinestone clad jeans with a low cut blouse and some heels I’d never seen before. It was a flashback to the The 70s, but this was the mid 90s and the grunge look was popular then so you can imagine the looks she got when we walked in that smoky ole country western bar. I mean the fact that she could be wearing a pair of jeans from her closet that long ago from her past was awesome. I can’t wear anything I owned from last summer let alone 25 years ago.

My husband has tales of his mothers 2 younger sisters and how they loved and played with him when he was a tot. His father was in the Army during Vietnam so Chad spent the first few years of his life raised by women. If you know my husband then this explains a lot. One of the favorite tales I’ve heard was he would ride the school bus with his Aunts when he was just about 4 years old and they along with their friends would feed him sour candies just to see the faces he would make. Apparently it was quite the event during the long dusty route to school.

As parents, you see your children with rose colored glasses but our other mothers who love us just as much, see us more clearly. My sister and I spent many summers and holidays with different family members and each of our Aunts affected our lives. We love every one of them who showered us with love, took us on many adventures, and taught us different lessons in life. Sometimes it takes another woman to teach you a lesson that you were resistant to learn from your mom.

An example of a life lived differently, experiences that your mom never had but you could still learn from, someone who sees a spark of similarity in you and wants you to achieve all that they had dreamed of for themselves. This is where your true depth of character originates from if you’ve been lucky to have these other mothers in your life. They don’t have to be family either. My best friends’ kids call me Aunt Steffi and I try my best to be there to shape their lives as well as my biological nieces and nephews.

I truly miss my Aunt Brenda because of our close relationship. Her presence in my life was profound. All you have to do is look around my home and you’ll see her everywhere. Whether it’s in my furniture she gave me through the years, paintings hanging on my walls, her collectibles displayed on my tables to the jewelry pieces she left me that I proudly wear. Between all the experiences I had with her to all her opinions on my life and the decisions I was making, I know I’m the woman I am today because of her.

So today, Mother’s day, think of the many other moms who have been a part of your life and thank them too. You know the lessons they’ve taught you as well as the influences they had on your life. Who knows where your life journey would have taken you if not for their love, because I just don’t know.