Boone and the great skunk caper.

It’s another hot day here and I’m enjoying the shade with my old dog Lucy while sitting under the pergola. It’s noisy out here but not from what you’d imagine. There’s a light wind rustling in the trees as it teases with the hope of a cooling breeze. The birds are whistling, the crickets are singing and of course there’s an assortment of flying bugs buzzing around too. As with most true southerners there’s the rattle of a trusty old box fan running on the back porch, and in front of that fan is where you’ll find Lucy most days.

The entertainment today is being provided by my other dog Boone, who is currently dance fighting around with a yellow jacket. Boone is a German Shorthair Pointer and he’s 5 years old. If you’ve ever been lucky enough to know a GSP then you know how great they are. The GSP is a breed that has a great personality and they love their family, a true velcro dog. But with most sporting breeds, they are very active, and require LOTS of daily exercise and interaction. GSP’s are more known as bird hunting dogs but also possess a very strong small prey drive. My poor kitties have never had a chance. Lola, my calico, has learned not to run away and just stands there looking at Boone as if to say ”whatever!” Waylon, my black and white tomcat, still darts away immediately. It’s funny to see Boone go into a full point whenever Waylon walks into the room. As you can imagine, any and all small critters get their fair share of attention from Boone around here. Right now it’s a yellow jacket buzzing around Boone and he’s just keeps snapping back. I did see Boone get stung once before by a yellow jacket and I had tried to warn him away then, but he wouldn’t listen. I knew the second it happened because he jumped 4 feet straight up in the air. He never seems to learn but I remember a day a couple of years ago that another critter wondered onto our property. The whole family learned a lesson that day.

It was the very first cool morning of the approaching springtime. I was awake much too early but I decided to get on up and enjoy the new day. I opened all the doors and windows to let the house air out the staleness of the season past. I quickly fed all my dogs, Boone, Lucy and Shelby, then started Chad’s morning coffee. I sat outside on the front porch while the doggies took care of their business and I simply enjoyed the quiet. Chad and I have a house on 20 acres. We have neighbors but they are not in sight, so I wasn’t worried about being seen sitting out front in my nightgown, fuzzy slippers and my hair still in its raging bed head mess. I had cleaned the house all day yesterday and all my errands had been completed. I was excited about being able to enjoy this beautiful day that was dawning.

After a bit. I went back inside and started watching the morning news. Usually the dogs will follow me back in, but today I hear them barking and some commotion starting up near front creek area. I do a quick cat check to make sure they aren’t being harassed, but all the kitties were accounted for. I ignore the dogs and get comfortable in my recliner. Most mornings there’s an old hoot owl that loves to stir up the dogs and I wasn’t overly concerned. Not much longer the barking does intensify, and I trek back outside to see if I can tell what’s going on. It’s too dark to see much of anything although I can see Lucy and Shelby darting in and out of the woods, but I can’t see Boone. Whatever was out there it’s obvious how Boone was barking, that he was on it. He actually sounded so happy. The chase was on. Again, I wasn’t concerned because I’ve seen Boone chase lots of little critters and he hadn’t caught a one yet. My crash course in country living would be starting in only a few more minutes.. I yell ”shutup, y’all are getting on my nerves!!” I giggle at the hilarity of what I must look like while yelling at my dogs this early morning but again, there’s no neighbors close by to hear or see me.

No sooner than I turn around to come back inside, Boone comes running in at full speed past me and in that instant I smell it…..The nauseating, pungent, acrid stench of a skunk. By the way Boone was acting he had suffered a direct hit. He was rolling and sliding himself across the carpet, also rubbing his face up against any of the furniture close by. He was whining and barking as the stench of death was following him through out the house. I scream at the top of my lungs ”CHAD!!!!!!!” as I’m trying to get Boone back outside. All the doors were still open and I’d get him out one door and he’d come in another. Whether it was the grass outside or carpet inside he was still frantically rubbing against them to get the residue off. I’m still screaming ”Chad……Boone got skunked” when Chad comes running up the hallway with an uncertain panic in his eyes and his boxers still twisted around his body from quickly jumping out of our bed. Within those few steps Chad gets the first whiff and falls to his knees gagging. ”Get him outside” he yells while trying to hold his breath. I keep repeating ”Boone got skunked, Boone got skunked, oh my god, Boone got skunked”. I keep trying to get him outside, shut all the windows and doors because now the fog of the recent attack is rolling in. During this calamity of the past few minutes the other dogs, Lucy and Shelby, were running around and jumping in excitement. I can swear they were laughing at Boone.

We finally get Boone outside and all the windows and doors are shut. Chad and I just look at each other in disbelief. Chad’s still gagging in his boxers and I’m trying to find one of my slippers I lost during the mayhem. Now the cleanup needs to begin and we don’t know where to start. This was our first experience of a skunk attack. Welcome to the country life. Chad grabs the iPad and starts researching while I start grabbing the linens that were covering the furniture and throw them in the washer. I look in the pantry and find 2 cans of tomato sauce. That’s what I remember hearing the old folks say helps washes the skunk off a dog. I grab towels and wash clothes and start preparing the guest bathroom for skunk removal.

Boone actually lets me take him without hesitation to the bathtub and I can see where he was hit. He must have been standing directly over the skunk because right below his neck is the oily stain and it was thick and still oozing. Boone and I were both in tears. Chad yells from the living room couch ”They say not to use tomato sauce on a dog with white fur because it’ll turn his hair pink.” I yell back ”I don’t care what color he is from now on, it’s all we got”. ”Do we have any vinegar?” he asks. ”Nope” I answer while still scrubbing the oily mess. Chad is doing the research while I’m washing all the dogs. Lucy and Shelby stopped laughing and tried to run away when they realized they were getting bathes too.

I emerge after the doggie bath fest. I’m exhausted, my back is screaming from pain, and I’m still so nauseous and can barely breathe in and out. My nose and throat were burning from the fumes. Chad then proceeds to tell me everything I’ve done wrong so far according to the internet. ”Don’t wash the affected animals indoors cause all the residue will stick and linger on your bathtubs and in the pipes and don’t wash your clothes or any linens in your washing machine cause it’ll make anything you wash afterwards stink too”. I just stand there with a look of complete and utter dismay. ”Really,…. you read that huh?”. He also tells me ” vinegar is the best way to neutralize the scent of skunk. They recommend putting bowls full of vinegar through your house to eliminate the skunk smell”. I remind him that we don’t have any at all. I guess I’m going to the grocery store now.

Chad goes and gets ready for work, lucky him, and I’m putting on my old jeans, a t-shirt and my trusty RF hat and head out to the local Piggly Wiggly. For you non-southerners out there, that’s an old grocery store chain that still exists in the Deep South. The store had only just opened for the day as I walked up to the checkout lane with my cart full of gallon jugs of vinegar, lots of multi-pack disposable plastic bowls and start unloading. The 2 grey haired cash register ladies who were opening up for the day look at me with a questioning glance. All I say is ”Skunk”. They both start laughing and then proceed to regal me with all the skunk encounter stories from their past. People always tell you after any kind of crazy life experience that ”one day you’ll laugh about this”. According to the way these ladies were laughing away at the memories of days gone past, it’s a true statement but right now….I’m not feeling it.

Once I arrive home I can tell the smell has evaporated outside so I open the doors and windows again to let the trapped fog of death roll back out. It’s starting to warm up quickly so I put the AC and all the ceiling fans on full blast. I place bowls of vinegar all over the house. I rewash the clothes with lots of vinegar with hopes of getting my washing machine clean too. I also spray vinegar on all the carpeting, curtains and furniture with a refillable spray bottle I just purchased. I am effectively pickling my whole house.

Chad has already left for work, the still damp dogs are all asleep and I’m so jealous. All I want to do now is get something to eat then go back to sleep myself but I’m still so nauseous and all I can smell is skunk, vinegar, wet dog and let’s not forget the multiple plugins I just refilled with the essential oils of springtime freshness.

Isn’t that how this day started? Opening up my home to air out the staleness of winter and welcome the smell of springtime. I believe Boone and I did learn a lesson that day. Whenever Waylon, my black and white kitty, walks in the room where Boone is hanging out, I can see it in Boone’s eyes…the questioning glance. Is that the kitty I can chase or not? Boone does leave him alone more and Waylon couldn’t be happier with his new sense of freedom around the house. I learned not to ignore my doggies when something is obviously up and that Chad can do some major research during any crisis.

Chad talked me into moving out to the country. ”The peace and quiet will be so relaxing” he said. ”Just think of all that open space with lots of privacy” he said. ”The dogs will love having all that acreage to run around” he said. ”It’ll be fun” he said. When it comes to country living and especially with this dog Boone, I can only guess how entertaining each day will be because I just don’t know.